LETTERS OF THANKS

We are grateful for the opportunity to pen this open letter to you.  We, along with our four children, completed Dr. Post’s family intensive in May of 2005.

To truly convey the impact this therapeutic intensive had on our family, it would be best to first share with you what brought us to Florida for parent boot camp and then on to Oklahoma for the family intensive from our home in Northern California.

In a word, it was quite literally desperation. [read full story]

Dear Bryan,

I thought to myself "What title should I give to you?"  You are the "Last Therapist", the greatest honor you can have in someone's life.  After work with you, I am able to continue on my own.  I was running out of fingers and toes in counting the therapist I had seen in my lifetime. When you introduce yourself you need to say "I'm Bryan Post, your Last Therapist".

N.T.- Oklahoma

Dear Bryan:

I thought I would write you a letter on my feelings of what you have done for me and my family. Your book is an expression of you and your work which we have been blessed to get to experience.

After years of therapy, what amazed me was how quickly you got to the core of the problem, helped us to dig down very deep to look at it, to express it and heal from it. You made us get honest with ourselves, to stop blaming others for our problems and realize it takes work and commitment to heal. In working with you, I realize that in order to heal my children, I first had to heal myself. The peace that I could cultivate in my life, was equivalent to the amount of peace that I could share with them. You made me aware that it takes tremendous time, patients, and commitment to raise healthy children. I look at my children’s behavior differently. I know that when they misbehave, it is a cry to be heard, that there is something in their life that is out of balance.

I haven’t had a chance to read all of the book but what I have read, I really like. These are the feelings that came to mind when reading the book: you challenge us to parent from a place of awareness; for parents to be awake and present for our children; for us to discover the light within ourselves so that we may help or children to discover their own light; to live from our own truth and to help our children cultivate their sense of truth and purpose in life; to unconditionally love ourselves so that we may unconditionally love our children.

Your book reminds us that it take a tremendous amount of patience to raise children, and accepting that it is a difficult job that requires total commitment.

You are awesome and your book is awesome. Thanks for trying to bring peace and happiness to families and for trying to save as many children as you can.

N.T.- Texas

Dr. Post,

I just wanted to thank you for coming this week. I feel for the first
time in 4 years that the school finally understands my daughter’s situation.
Your visit with the school made such a difference.

We look forward to working with our daughter in dealing with the trauma
experienced.  Since you began consulting with us, we feel empowered to make
a difference in helping our daughter heal. 

Thanks,
L.R.- Texas

Hi Bryan,

I am writing because all is good here. I have been thinking lately about things we all have been through in the last 3 or more years And you have helped us see things with a different understanding than many others. So I write to you because I know you have seen us when we have been so down and discouraged and you have tried to share and encourage us to keep up the good work. I think you know that we are Christians and we lean on and rely on Him for everything. And if we meet a Dr. or a professional and their teachings don't agree with HIS we find it real hard to follow directions. The one thing about your teachings is that it always focused on love, patience and compassion. Recently I had a book recommended to me that was written a long time ago but describes our (my) journey to understanding what we all go through and the kind of healing that can be ours when we understand. "Hinds Feet On High Places" by Hannah Hurnard it is a story about someone called Much-Afraid and her exciting journey to High Places. Much-Afraid can be me or my daughter...it is just a beautiful story about all the places we often have to visit before we are in a higher place.....ex......valley of loss.....fearing invasion....sorrow and suffering.......healing streams...return to the valley......Ok ...one more thing........my daughter’s report card which always brought me sadness because they grade her on skills that where she cannot succeed at this time......well this year her class size is 7......the classmates are a much more easy going group than last year and she has a new young male teacher (which I was very concerned about) but all is going good if not great in that class room and her grades for academic are excellent and her self behaving issues are satisfactory where as last year they were terrible....we both have joy and peace with these comments........I never should have thought she could not achieve these kind of comments (shame on me). Also I coached her soccer team and I teach her gym class at school all with real positive behaviors from her, sometimes she still is challenging but nothing that continues. Recently I left to go to Maine to take care of a sick gramma and for the first time she told me how much she loved me and missed me and how she took my pj's and slept with them under her pillow so she could be close and smell me.....was awesome to my ears. At this time we are very hopeful for the future where there was a time that was not true. I will try to savor these feelings.....I just wanted you to know you have played a part in all of this and that is why when I have a peaceful healing daughter I think to share it with   you............May God continue to Bless You and your dedication to the wellness of our children.

M.S.-Connecticut

Dear Dr. Post,

It has been some time since I attended your conference in Indianapolis with my sister but I wanted to take the time to thank you for your work!  I am currently writing my Master's Thesis on RAD and the spiritual gifts inherent in the disorder and I am using your work to highlight the prenatal physiological formations of the stress response that is so evident in RAD disordered persons.

I am finding that your idea of looking at the person as being fundamentally 'scared' rather than angry is so helpful in my personal training as a therapist as well as informing people how to intact with me since I have the symptoms associated with this disorder.  Your work was healing for my sister and I since I am adopted and for the longest time my family didn't understand my behaviors but your work began to make things make more sense for all of us.

While my training is heading in the depth psychology arena I am ever grateful for those who are able to make brain research make sense to me and to my clients.

L.J.

Dear Bryan

Getting the experience I want here locally is going to be a challenge.  There simply isn't anyone doing good sound attachment work.  And besides, I have so much admiration for your work and the stress model you have developed.  It is not only theoretically based and backed by research, but it’s completely applicable to everyday living.  Too many approaches are either one or the other, not both.   Are you open to some opportunities for me to train with you?

You keep up the good work, also!!!!!  I love your style of telling the group there wasn't any such animal as attachment disorder!  "Maverick Bryan."

All the best,
H.F.-Orlando

Hi Bryan,
I enjoyed meeting up with you at the ATTACh conference. Your workshop
related to my family to a tee. We've been through all the breakthrough
holdings, but I've felt (for too long now) like we've been so stuck in
moving forward. Your stress model and explanation of our two little
"stress bombs" has really clarified the approach my husband and I need to take
from here. I really like the work you've done and the parenting model
you've developed. And....this past week was MUCH better! Your workshop
was the only one that gave me something I could apply in my 24/7
mothering. Thanks!

Dr. B.,

I went to an adoption support group meeting last night and guess who was the topic of conversation?  Dr. B. Bryan Post and family centered regulatory parenting!    The therapist that runs the group (we used to co-facilitate it, but I had to drop out for awhile) was in your workshop at the conference.  Your ideas really helped in turning her attitude around.  She used to be much more cynical and almost "sneaky" in her approach for parents, but last night she had much more of a compassionate approach.  It was so refreshing.  I felt like I had always butted heads with her, but finally last night we were on the same page.   I think the other parents really benefited from hearing about your ideas.

Take care, Bryan and keep eatin' your peas!!!!!!

Dear Dr. Post,

I just wanted to send you a brief message expressing my thanks and appreciation for the workshop that you presented, in Baton Rouge, on yesterday.  It was very informative, refreshing and so enlightening to have a different viewpoint to process on human behavior.  There was so much logic in what you presented in terms of stress factors being the primary contributor to behaviors that are viewed to be disruptive due to organic or other factors.  Your presentation was awesome!

Thanks for the CD, also.  I listened to it, on today, and it exceeded my expectations.
I shared the materials with my co-workers at our Children Services office.  They, too, were impressed!  I believe that if the workshops had received more publicity, there would have been larger groups in attendance.

Your youthfulness, too, is very refreshing as your views are more in tune with the generation that we are, now, involved with.  It's a much more aggressive, demanding and challenging group.  Thank God for your being!

Keep up the excellent work that you are doing.

Sincerely,
R.T.-Louisiana       

Last Spring, my family was in complete chaos. The school was threatening to send my 8 year-old daughter to alternative school because of her defiant behavior with her teacher and poor interaction with her peers.

My daughter had experienced trauma at the age 5. From that point in time, she had great difficulty coping in the school environment. Her original therapist worked with her concentrating on finding out her trauma experience. Due to her young age, we agreed to stop the sessions after 10 months without her learning how to cope with the trauma experience.

We moved to another state and continued to have problems with my daughter. We went to a psychologist for a period of a couple of months but the school year ended before we realized any results. The next school year started and things seem to go a little better until a few weeks before her teacher went out on maternity leave. My daughter’s behavior deteriorated to the point that the school officials were mentioning alternative school. I immediately began taking my daughter to the therapist we had used the previous year. After only 3 sessions, she recommended putting her on medication to help calm her anxiety. She mentioned that she was exhibiting behavior consistent with a Bi-Polar diagnosis. I went to my pediatrician who agreed to put her on medication for a short period of time while she was receiving treatment. She was put on Paxil and we noticed within a matter of 2 weeks, her behavior became even more aggressive. The therapist recommended that we see a psychiatrist who could look at what types of medication we could give her. We met with the psychiatrist who told us to take her off the Paxil and recommended that we put her on lithium for a period of 3 weeks because it sometimes stopped the Post Traumatic Systems she was experiencing. He also said that we would need to have blood work done after being on the medication for 7 days because lithium could cause liver damage. When I got home from the doctor’s office, I decided we were going down a treatment path with my daughter that I could not accept. We decided not to give her the lithium or go back to either the pediatrician or the psychiatrist.

I called her original therapist in North Carolina who recommended that I look into Reactive Attachment Disorder. He didn’t think she was exhibiting all of the signs, but thought it might be something worth exploring. I began looking on the web and came upon Dr. Post’s website. I found out he was going to be lecturing in my city within the next two weeks. I actually changed a business trip so that I could attend the seminar. I read everything on Dr. Post’s website and was quite intrigued by all of his articles. I felt like he was actually referring to my daughter in all of his articles. All of her behavior was consistent with a child who has been traumatized. What he said made so much sense.

My husband and I attended Dr. Post’s 8-hour seminar. For the first time in 3 years, I knew I had found someone who could finally help us with our daughter. I began emailing Dr. Post over a period the next 4 months asking for guidance. My husband and I had to completely change our parenting techniques, which was not an easy task. As we change our parenting techniques, our daughter began to improve. I began to see her as a child living in fear and the fear manifesting itself into defiant behavior.

At the beginning of 4th grade, I met with my daughter’s teacher to explain that she would need to make some changes in her classroom to accommodate my daughter’s specific needs. She seemed to be willing to do that, but things began to deteriorate so quickly, that I knew that I needed to get Dr. Post involved. I arranged for Dr. Post to meet with our family to do an evaluation of our daughter and then to meet with the school. Dr. Post hit a home run when he met with the school. For the first time, I think the school officials understood why my daughter was behaving the way she did. We are making progress with the school, but still have things to work through. I feel confident that we will eventually progress to where to level we need, especially with Dr. Post’s help.

My daughter’s behavior has improved significantly at home. By using Dr. Post’s techniques, we have been able to prevent my daughter’s anxiety level to reach a level where intervention is required. We stay regulated, so she can stay regulated through us until she is able to better regulate herself. I highly recommend using Dr. Post’s consultation services. Be prepared to rethink everything you thought about parenting. His approach to Family Regulated Therapy and practicing the 3 R’s is a gold mine. READ Dr. Post’s book on Parenting!!!

For the first time since my daughter’s trauma, I feel that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you Dr. Post!

R.L.--Texas